She served me my food and was even offering to feed me.
It was fun doing it.
So while I lying on my bed pressing my phone, my wife tapped me and asked that we play a game.
I then remembered today is Wednesday and we were fond of playing our romantic games on Wednesdays. So today was when I saw the romantic side of my wife.
Without wasting time, I dropped my phone and asked.
“So which game are we going to play?”
“Truth and dare.” She cooed in excitement.
“O come on, baby. We have been playing truth and dare since we knew each other. Right now you know everything about me and I have asked every question in the book. Suggest another game.”
“Okay. You suggest a game for us.”
“Hide and seek. I will tie your eyes and you will find me. When you catch me, then I will be the one to find you.”
My wife shook her head.
“No na. That is an old game. I don’t have the strength to be running up and down. I just want something we can play together on the bed without going anywhere.”
“Okay fine. Suggest another game na. I am out of games to play.”
My wife thought for a while. She clapped her hands and grinned like one who had won a million dollars.
“Praises, how about I ask you ten questions about me and if you fail to answer any of the questions, then I will bite you. So that means I will bite you for every question you fail to answer.”
“Where will you be bitting me?” I asked.
“You hand of cause.”
“So how about me, where will I bite you?”
My wife looked at her body. Then she said.
“I will bite you on your buttocks if you fail my questions.” I told her.
“You and buttocks. Fine but it should end at only bitting o. Let it not tress pass to smooching.” I laughed.
My wife offered to start the questions. She said when she was done asking the ten questions, then I can ask mine and bite her too if she fails.
We both sat facing each other.
After a moment of silence.
“So Baby, what is the date of birth of my grandfather.”
“Ah! What concern me with your grandfather na? Even your father does not know his date of birth.”
“That one is not my business. Do you know it or you don’t know it?”
My wife immediately grabbed my hands like sugar cane and used her teeth to bite me. I endured the pain.
Then she asked again.
“So my love and sweetheart, how many grandfathers have I had in my generation?”
That was when I exploded.
“Come which kind of useless yeye question is this? Am I supposed to be counting your grandfathers in your generation? Ask questions that I know and can answer.”
My wife did not even say anything. She knew I did not know it, she grabbed my hand again like roasted yam that has been sauced with pepper and gave me the bite of my life.
This time I screamed.
Then she asked again.
“So my husband of my life. Can you tell me when my grandmother first visited my father when he was still single?”
I stood up from the bed. I told my wife to just bite me let me ask my own questions. She insisted that she was not done yet and it had to be up to 10 first before I ask mine.
I refused o.
“I cannot allow you to be biting me anyhow. You have to answer mine today or we die in this house together. How many grey hairs did my grandfather have in his anus? No answer me o. You must answer me. How many grey hair?”
My wife opened the door and ran out of the bedroom. I followed her.
She doesn’t know anything yet.
“Come back here, monkey. Tell me how many times my grandfather has polluted the air in his lifetime. You must tell me now.”
My wife ran into the toilet and locked the door.
She was laughing and screaming.
“That is where you will sleep o. You better sleep in the toilet. Ehen. Or you come here let me bite you the three bites you gave me so we can sleep in peace. Every time you will be showing sense. Come let me bite you my own o or you sleep in that toilet this night.”
Just see my hand.
See how she has mesmerized my hand with bite.
This woman has tiger teeth.
My name is Praises Chidera Obiora and I am the best at what I do.