So when I traveled to the United States of America to see my Aunty, her children were very happy to see me. They were happy they were going to play with the Uncle Praises they’d been hearing about.
So on this faithful morning, it snowed. It was my third day in the US and also my first time seeing snow fall from the sky.
The children were excited to show me what snow looks like and the many things they did with snow. So they dragged me outside, even though I complained the weather was too cold and I could not go out.
“Kam along, ankle Praises. Kam let us play.” They will speak in their oyibo language.
I followed them.
Three of them.
When we got outside, they began jumping on the snow.
“Jamp along. Jamp on the snow as we are doing.”
In my mind, I was like this Children don’t have respect o. They couldn’t even respect my age.
But because I wanted to make them happy I started jumping too. Everyone was happy until Jason carried snow and rolled it into a ball. He threw it directly at my back and I turned.
The other two children stopped jumping and started laughing. Like they had planned it, everyone started throwing balls of snow at me.
I rolled mine too and got prepared to fire.
“Seek cover. Everyone take cover.” Jason shouted.
Rhoda and Jake hid behind a car.
“Okay, you people want to play police and thief game with me.”
I folded balls of snow and started stoning them on their face, back, and head, while they stoned back
The game was getting interesting until my hands picked a particular ball of snow. I didn’t know the snow was mixed with real stone inside.
Without looking, I threw the ball at Jason’s face and he landed on the floor flat. He sat up and started crying.
I quickly ran to him. I discovered I had broken the front of his teeth and it was bleeding.
Rhoda quickly shouted.
“Call 911, Jake.”
“No o. Don’t call 911 o.” I shouted back.
“Because I have just spent 3days in this country. Do you want me to go back to Buhari Regime? Country that I have not even snapped picture inside. Please leave 911. This is a small wound na. It is not something you should be disturbing 911 about. Allow them to rest. Come let us go inside. I will give you salt to lick, everything will heal.”
Rhoda kept staring at me like my head wasn’t correct.
“Jake do not listen to a man who uses salt to treat a broken and bleeding tooth. He is just a local Nigerian. Please call 911 now.”
My name is Praises Chidera Obiora and I am the best at what I do.